Happiness…Where Art Thou? Don't elude me any longer!

It's interesting…how some people find it (happiness) on the first try (or else are darned good actors) and how some people embark on an endless journey looking for it…I guess as of now I'm in the second category. Perhaps this is still the "Quarter-Lifer's Struggle" syndrome that I'm experiencing. Having graduated from college and then meeting the anxiety of the real world…That I'm responsible for my own happiness…

It's terrifying, and with social media shoving the constant "Look at me and how happy I am" posts down your throat per each of your thousand friends, it's tough. Secretly, you groan every time a new "I'M ENGAGED LOOK AT MY FABULOUS RING" post surfaces or worse, an "OMG, I JUST GOT THE JOB I'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR" post or "LOOK AT MY BABY TAKING HER FOOD AND THROWING IT ON MOMMY'S FACE" post… It almost sends your fingers racing to the "deactivate account" button.

But, then another problem… Perhaps that irritation is jealousy. Seeing 90 of your FB friends post that they're planning their wedding while you cry at home wondering when it'll happen for you after watching a fairy tale…no bueno. Or wondering how so-and-so got the dream job when they slacked off all through college, cheating their way to barely-passing grades while you worked tirelessly, endlessly, aggressively and sit through mediocre…Yes; it's actually jealousy. And the thoughts of "What does she/he have that I don't have? When will it happen for me? Why can't I just be happy? What more do I have to do?" I'm sick of these thoughts…and after talking to some other 20-somethings…I realize that I'm not at all alone! I'm reading forums about it…and now I have books coming to my doorstep this week about it…For most people, it seems, their 20s are no picnic…And that gives me relief. (I'm starting Christine Hassler's 20 Something Manifesto and A Quarter-Life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction when they ship this week. I also have Jenny Blake's Life After College on my list.)

So…I decided that I'm going to work tirelessly to achieve my own happiness. I'm going to force the happiness into manifestation and cheer on the people who have found theirs (or are just darned good actors)… I won't settle for the feigned happiness; I won't fall victim to the Impostor Syndrome…and if it isn't working for me…I'll just move on…Simple enough? Amazingly, it isn't!

But…if it means working full-time to be happy, then I'll just have a second job for the rest of my life. As of now…I'll be redirecting this blog to focus on this journey…..this hard-pressed, lifelong journey that is highlighted by a four-hour cooking class that sends me away with a renewed sense of self, or the awesome work my dog did in group class one week or the professional conference that I'm going to in New York in a month, or the trip to the nail salon with my nieces…Whatever it takes….

Age on the job…why so important?

My birthday was a couple of Fridays ago, and even before that day, my co-workers were begging to know my age. Each time someone asks, I respectfully tell them that I don't think it matters, or that I would rather not say, or some other honest and polite excuse. However, it has become a plaguing issue…That I just don't understand. Why is it so important to know? I don't ask anyone else their age…unless I plan on dating them.

This issue has continued to rear its ugly head. It seems like my colleagues' curiosity has been fueled by my refusal to give a real answer. And, I'm sure that when they reveal their ages and wait expectantly for me to follow suit, it must be quite frustrating. I allow them to guess, and they always guess incorrectly, but it's because I don't think it matters. I think my position matters; I think my level of education matters, and I think my experience matters. But not my age…not my marital status and certainly none of my other personal demographic or psychographic information.

I don't fall for the clever "when did you graduate" trick, either. I'm young. I don't deny or hide from this fact, but I'd rather not be discriminated against on the job because of exactly how young I am. Heck, if I  were much more seasoned and reported to someone my age, I'm sure it'd be tough for me to take that "kid" seriously, too. With that in mind, I keep my mouth shut and my i.d. close to me at Happy Hour.

The ageism is already visible, though. I'm called "sweetie," "baby," "doll" and every other nickname synonymous with a little girl. My on-the-job compliments are how "cute" my hair is that day or, worse, how "cute" I look in general. It makes me uncomfortable. I have a youthful face, too, and it doesn't help my case much.

To get to the point of this post, though, why does your age matter? If you're getting the work done and being respectful, why should you be expected to reveal personal information? Just to get along with everyone else? Pass…

Framing "King of the Hill"

So, I was sitting here debating writing this post about social media and its recent impacts, both positive and negative, when I ended up watching one of my favorite shows —“King of the Hill.” Hank, the main character, is a propane dealer who drives an old truck, drinks beers regularly with three other guys from the neighborhood and is married to Peggy, a substitute teacher. Peggy and Hank have a 13-year-old son named Bobby. The show is set in Arlen, Texas, and Hank is your stereotypical Texas man (he’s deeply into football, goes to a Christian church, loves to grill and hunt, is unafraid of fisticuffs, lives for all things masculine and fears showing affection to name a few characteristics).

(Image source: http://www.amoeba.com/dynamic-images/blog/Gomez/kingofthehill_boxboxart_160w.jpg)

In this particular episode, “It’s Not Easy Being Green,” Bobby comes home one day and gives one of the neighbors, Boomhauer, a make-believe ticket for driving a clunker. Bobby has learned from one of his teachers that many gas-guzzling old cars like Boomhauer’s contribute a great deal to air pollution.

(Image source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boomhauer)

Bobby later goes inside of his house and tells his mom about being green. His mom responded by saying she is very green; she has dozens of plastic shopping bags tucked inside a larger plastic shopping bag and will one day take them back to the grocery store. Bobby, unsatisfied by her answer, gives her a ticket also.

(The issue here is framing messages. Bobby has learned from his teacher what is green and what isn’t. Meanwhile, Hank, Peggy and Boomhauer have received messages about the environment from sources that deemed environmental activists as people with too much free time on their hands and too much nonsense spewing from their lips. Interesting. It reminds me of our current situation!)

Hank soon meets Bobby’s teacher, Mr. McKay, and they subsequently discuss the environment. Hank, a hardcore supporter (and dealer) of propane tells McKay that they should get along because he lives to sell clean-burning propane gas and grills.

“Propane just perpetuates the whole culture of backyard barbecues. Paper plates. Plastic forks. MEAT,” McKay responded. 


“I've sold three grills today using those exact words, but with a more positive attitude,” Hank responded exasperatedly.

That’s framing, folks!

Later in the episode, as a joke on Boomhauer, Hank decides to become more supportive of Bobby and his class project. Bobby is so surprised by his father’s sudden support that he immediately questions Hank’s motives. “I thought you said that tree-huggers like me and Mr. McKay were a bunch of noodle-brained Communists,” Bobby told Hank.

Framing, again!

The point is, I could go on and on with more comical examples of framing from this episode that are all parallel to the current debates over whether humans are the cause and possible solution of our global climate crisis. It is up to us as individuals to decide whether we will be influenced by facts or our predisposed notions about what the facts should be. I hope we pick facts more than non-facts!

The complete transcript of the episode is available online here:

http://www.livedash.com/transcript/king_of_the_hill-(it's_not_easy_being_green)/4590/TOONP/Tuesday_September_21_2010/455831/

Do the right thing … or else!

“Do the right thing.” It sounds simple enough, but amazingly, so many people can’t seem to manage to do so, especially in public relations. Recently, my class read and wrote about the first chunk of “Do the Right Thing” by James Hoggan. Early in the book, Hoggan shares his three golden rules of public relations: “1. Do the Right Thing, 2. Be Seen to be Doing the Right Thing and 3. Don’t Get #1 and #2 Mixed Up,” (pp. 9-14).

Public relations professionals have become some of the most hated people in our country, it seems. Unfortunately, with one of our founding PR fathers, Edward Bernays, being a master of the art of “spin,” how could we even blame the people for hating us? We, contemporary PR professionals, were taught to never “spin” a story or even a bit of information. Instead, we are encouraged to tell the truth. Always. Never lie. Granted, we aren’t advised to develop “diarrhea of the mouth” and spill every bit of information about our clients.

We all know about the very, very bad outcome that lying to the public has. Bad guys in PR learned a hard lesson about the damage lying to publics could cause their corporations. The Enron accounting scandal is a classic example of the heavy consequences of lying.Honesty has become a vital component of our field. With the public becoming increasingly perturbed by corporate and political attempts at tricking them, there is very little room available for lying (or even subtle attempts at covering up the truth). Fact checking has become much easier, as well; if people want to verify the accuracy of a claim, Wikipedia and Google become starting points that allow investigation of virtually anything.

Hoggan repeatedly emphasizes the value of maintaining a relationship with people built on honesty. Social networking makes two-way communication a consumer expectation. The public wants to feel heard and wants to maintain sincere relationships with companies in particular.

People also tend to be more forgiving of a company that is up front with them as opposed to a company that attempts to hide the truth. Although being honest sometimes causes short-term fiscal losses, those short-term fiscal losses are nowhere near as damaging as the losses incurred by a decline in public respect for your corporation.

An amazing example that Hoggan uses is with the organic food store Capers. After discovering one of its employees had Hepatitis A, Capers responded by closing its deli counters. Although the store suffered a short-term loss, the appearance of being genuinely concerned for the safety of its customers was invaluably beneficial in the long run.

Gladwell's analysis of tipping points in fashion

As part of my class, we read Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point” as part of my

PR Research & Strategies course. Gladwell gave me a few examples of how unpredictable fashion trends can be, and how quickly such trends come and go.

First, “The Tipping Point” was an analysis of how small changes can often lead to monumental positive or negative changes. Such monumental changes can occur either in terms of increase or decrease. (Check out Gladwell's website here: http://www.gladwell.com/)

According to Gladwell, a Tipping Point is“that one dramatic moment in an epidemic when everything can change all at once” (Gladwell, p. 9). Gladwell also defined a Tipping Point as “the boiling point” that serves as the precursor to monumental change (p. 12).

Gladwell begins by using the rise of Hush Puppies as an example of a tipping point. With trends that are constantly changing and unpredictable, fashion is an everyday example of tipping points in action.

In the early ‘90s, Hush Puppies, a retro shoe, were so unpopular that they were unavailable in most stores. In fact, Hush Puppies had reached such a low point in their sales that they were only available in little Mom and Pop stores or secondhand thrift shops. However, after two kids on the Soho club scene were spotted wearing the shoes, now a rarity, Hush Puppies caught on with reputable designers. These designers included Hush Puppies in their fashion collections and runway spreads, and from there, the popularity of Hush Puppies tipped dramatically. In two years, Hush Puppies went from a dying product to a product that could not stay on the shelves in stores. The shoe even went on to become an award-winning accessory (pp. 2-7).

Image source: (http://www.obl.msu.edu/PHOTOS/HushPuppies.jpg)

Another example Gladwell gives of a tipping point in the fashion industry is with Airwalk shoes. When the Airwalk shoes’ availability was limited, they were more popular. It seems that in this society, what is rare is valuable. When the Airwalk shoes became more available at larger, less-elegant stores where less fashion-forward people could find them, the shoes lost their appeal (pp. 207-213).

Image source: (http://www.gamesneaker.com/images/Airwalk%20simmer.jpg)

These two examples Gladwell gave show how our society is constantly finding value in what is rare and what is new. Trends seem to come and go and are constantly determined by a few people who make something seem “cool.”

As PR practitioners, we are constantly studying trends and figuring out how to market something to various communities. The challenge becomes dealing with a society where something can be uncool one day and then extremely cool the next, or extremely cool one day and considered tacky the next. The PR practitioners who are most focused on chasing what society considers as cool are nicknamed Cool Hunters — rightfully so.

Response to Dr. D's post

(This blog is a response to Dr. D's post earlier today. It is available for read here: http://laraedonnellan.posterous.com/democracy-and-the-internet )

As public relations professionals, what exactly can we do to maintain the existence of honest, yet undamaging open discussions?

It seems like expressing yourself is becoming increasingly difficult in this country for fear of attack. Religion and politics still remain the most taboo topics to discuss with anyone, regardless of familiarity. Social networking allows people to have open dialogue, but many people are no longer able to respect the fact that everyone is entitled to there own views on an issue.

I admit, I have become fearful of expressing many of my opinions, namely in the political and religious categories. In open class discussions, I fear that my peers’ perception of me will become tainted by my take on a current event. Worse, speaking about religion or showing a particular religious preference seems to make people become too upset to take your opinion for what it is—an opinion.

Coffee talk rarely reaches past the weather and other non-debatable topics anymore. It feels stifling to be unable to have insightful conversations. If you say something as small as a mispronounced word, it seems as though someone is going to come after you with torches and pitchforks in hand.

It feels like some invisible censor prevents me from saying my opinions, and that censor being fear. Fear of being judged, fear of being ostracized and even worse is fear of being verbally and physically attacked.

How has a guaranteed freedom become so twisted?

(Lastly, I would like to offer my sincerest condolences to every person who was harmed directly and indirectly by the shooting in Arizona.)

Wealth Workshop

On Feb. 17, there was a Building Wealth Workshop entitled "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" hosted in Perry Paige. The workshop was open to students of all majors and specializations, with a large amount of students from the School of Business and Industry and the School of Journalism of Graphic Communication. They seemed to be the most inspired by the workshop, which was more than three hours long, and mostly PowerPoint presentation of common-sense information on budgeting and maintaining credit.
While the goals of the workshop were clear (teaching students important information in today's time of economic crisis), the presentation could not have been more dry. The PowerPoint slides were included in our goodie bags in a hard-copy version and a CD-ROM containing the presentations was also included. Providing all the information that was included in the presentation was thoughtful, but reading the slides verbatim was not the best strategy to use for keeping college students' attention.
After viewing the slide shows, the presenter asked students to break into four random, predetermined groups (based on the colors of dots on the name tags given at sign in). Each of the groups were given a scenario of common financial issues, and were asked to use solutions based on the information provided during the lectures. After coming up with the solutions, the students were instructed to come up with their own short presentations of their findings. Once again, the SBI students enjoyed using financial jargon and business lingo, and the student presentations also became dry and repetitive. (Each group seemed to repeat something the previous group had already said.)
While the goals of the workshop were clear, its length was too long (the workshop did not finish on schedule, as no on-campus program ever seems to), the information too general and watered-down, and the presentation was much-too-dry for college students.